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I choose hope

I told my partner that we have so many options ahead of us. I see so many paths, so many choices. I choose hope. We feel trapped. As a child, I had two recurring dreams where I was trapped, one in a local store called “Big Wheel”, and the other in my grandparents’ backyard where … Continue reading

relishing the joy

I mean to relish the joy of pregnancy. My partner laughs at me, just a little, mostly shaking his head, when I say that I like being pregnant. The first 3 or 4 months I am so sick and exhausted that I can barely function. I nest for a full nine months, so part of … Continue reading


A decade ago I had what I finally recognized as a panic attack. I was in a court house, present to decide the fate of my small child in a custody hearing with her father. I felt that same crushing sensation today. I work in an academic library. I am a staff librarian, but over-qualified based on … Continue reading