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archives

moving on

This category contains 5 posts

I choose hope

I told my partner that we have so many options ahead of us. I see so many paths, so many choices. I choose hope. We feel trapped. As a child, I had two recurring dreams where I was trapped, one in a local store called “Big Wheel”, and the other in my grandparents’ backyard where … Continue reading

tales from the trenches

Some days you wake up ready to fight back against the heartache and the naysayers. Other days it’s rage that fills your bones, eats at your core, erasing your resolve. Still other days you have nothing left to give and no reason to pretend. Which will be today? Sunday it was rage. Most days it … Continue reading

heartbeats

I can feel my pulse in my fingertips. Today my David will call his new school and see what possibility there is for a deferment. Yes, he was accepted into medical school. 1200 miles from our home. Wednesday, we will have our anomaly scan for our second child. He’s 20 weeks, and I am due … Continue reading

little kicks of sadness

I have to say that I did just read one of the saddest stories I have seen in at least a long time. Maybe it is the pregnancy hormones. Maybe it is that my partner is leaving later this week for an interview out of state. Maybe it is that our earth is dying. Or … Continue reading

if I die or. . .

As usual, I woke in the middle of the night. I have had a bad feeling that I would die in labor with this child. It was on my mind the whole time we tried for this child, a sense of foreboding. Maybe it is because I am the breadwinner of our family, maybe it … Continue reading